THE ZEST-O GANG
Scene of the crime: Not as visible anymore as they were years ago, the Zesto Gang members scam bus passengers through quick tactics of distraction, confusion and intimidation. Named after the eponymous juice packs, the gang sometimes doesn’t even sell actual Zesto juice packs.
Plan of attack: A Zesto Gang member comes up to you in a bus, with bills of cash folded lengthwise and wound around the fingers by denomination in typical bus conductor style, and nonchalantly asks, "Ilan?" ("How many?") Thinking he or she is the bus conductor, you say how many people you’d like to pay the fares of, not knowing that the scammer is supposedly actually asking how many juice packs you’d like to buy. After getting your money, the gang member magically produces juice packs from out of nowhere, swiftly pokes straws in them and shoves them in front of you. And even if you doth protest to say, "But I thought..." or "That’s not what I...," you will curtly be told, too late, "Naitusok ko na eh," meaning they can no longer be sold, thanks to your (purported) hearing deficiency, and so rather than make a fuss or argue, you just sip in meek silence. Even more appalling? Scammers jack up the price of the juice pack to as much as ten times the actual price.
Defense mechanism: You might try feigning sleep like FHM Managing Editor Allan Hernandez does. Seriously, check out loud if the person asking for your money is indeed the conductor replete with the requisite ID, bus tickets, and uniform, the top of which can range from a short-sleeved polo to a casual polo shirt with an embroidered bus logo (but beware, this too, can be faked). Look behind him or her for a mysterious pail or bag of juice packs!
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